3 years.
That's how long it's been since I last posted an entry here. And honestly? I haven't thought about it since. But tonight I was updating my facebook info and..."Oh, yeah...I have a blog. Huh."
What surprised me the most, though, was that I had a comment that I never knew existed. So, Michelle...this is for you.
How do you sum up 3 years in a post that won't take 86 hours to read? Well, if you know me at all, then you've already guessed my answer: with a list, of course.
SO, here are my top 3 lessons learned in the past 3 years:
1. Right here, right now...this is my ministry.
I wrote a song once. The chorus ended with the words, "I'm waiting here, patiently, for the time to come when you will use me, Lord."
It feels like for the past decade or so I've been in limbo, thinking there would come a time when I would be used in some HUGE way...then my ministry would begin. Maybe I would go to Africa and devote my life to the orphans. Maybe Shane and Shane would need a third "S" to complete the group and teach me how to strum faster than the speed of light. Maybe I would marry a pastor and spend my days supporting him while mentoring young women and leading the children's ministry (no, really). For far too long, I felt like I was idly spending my time just...waiting. But this is it. I am exactly right where I need to be...where I'm SUPPOSED to be. I have an amazing job where I get to show kids on a daily basis that they matter. My family, my friends, my church...this crazy wonderful camp I happened upon this summer...could it get any better than this? This is my ministry. Right here, right now.
2. I am beautiful. I am worthy. I am loved.
I love imagining some of your faces right now. Shock...bewilderment. Some of you know just how big of a deal this really is. Yep, it's true: I have learned to see myself through His eyes. Not that I don't have my days when I think, "Wow, I really should have stayed in bed today," but the good days are slowly beginning to outnumber the bad. And that, my friends, is victory in Christ.
3. Cancer doesn't have to always just take life...it might just give it, too.
As of today, the count is at Cancer: 2 Us: 1. How I wish the numbers were different. How I wish I could take back the pain and sickness and awful, awful days that were spent for us to have that score of 1. But in the end, I have learned. I have learned that life is precious. I have learned that life is meant to be LIVED. I have learned that every day is one more than we deserve...a gift. I have learned that He is faithful. Always. Even when the results make your eyes sting, your throat burn, and your heart drop to your stomach. I have seen Him use the loss of life to teach others to live. And I know that a life lost on Earth is a life lived fully. With Him. In Eternity.
3 years. Whew. Can't wait to see what the next 3 hold. :)
